Lavie0213的部落格

【I know that you're pretending But I still trust you】

Recently, I changed my class to French but I still want to improve my English. So I had found some intersting articles and translated for them. 

It's for my English and also share with my foreign friends.

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I'm thinking about the temperament of the different persons recently, some people's behavior are always elegant and natural, and the temperament of these people aren't pretended. On the other hand, some people are always not eye-catching and mediocre, some people we don't even want to contact with them, we just nod for politeness.

I didn't mean to categorize different people by appearance(or image), I'm just wondering how the different people choose their own way to express themselves in our daily life. What kind of mask they're wearing? What kind of things they're hiding?

Since I noticed there's many negative rules had been hidden in daily life, I have been resisting the request which relate the management of my appearance from my parents. For example, what kind of speech is appropriate when we're talking to elder in restaurant, what kind of clothes I should wear, I should be quiet while I was eating and be proper while I was sitting.

Over a long time, although I didn't ask myself too hard or I wasn't in the formal situation, I often feel that I was observed, I was observed by my parents. I have to maintain this kind of "natural image", and also for the people who has the same situation with me.

Therefore, the temperament can't be imitated, furthermore, it looks stupid when you're imitating. So there's an interesting question : Why high society people's behavior is so popular and imitated by normal people ? Because their behavior(or perform) was "idealized" by society, it also became the values of society.    

When I was an assistant in a bag shop, I had many chances to observe our customers, how they performed themselves in the character "customer". As soon as they arrived the shop, they felt the atmosphere from the shop(the assistant with laugh, the tender light, the suitable temperature...), it was a big influence for them. Even though they looked cold and unfriendly outside, they became the "customer" naturally while they were inside because of the atmosphere and situation.    

So it was actually that customer dominated assistant or it was on the contrary? I observed that some customers didn't want to be served, they picked and browsed the purchases by themselves, but they spent money generously as soon as they decided to buy something. Some customers were indecisive, they spent much time on their browsing for nothing.

In our daily life, we idealize our own perform(or behavior) like a routine. There's often contradiction between the perform and truth, in other words, there's dark side in the back of our idealized perform.   

For example, not only the image of customer, but also the behavior of some girls are idealized,  when they get along with men, they're actually smarter then men but they pretend silly or can't eat too much, it makes the superior position for men. On the other hand, some people want to build a generous image,  but they keep thinking to fawn someone in the same time. Some people likes to mention the classical literature works for highlight their taste.

What's the specific standard for these idealized perform? The training is from our family, school, company or from some groups. Not only they socialize us but also we may refer to the person we meet in our daily life.  

Something we have to pay attention is, how the mask affect our thought, expression and movement, how we view our world and response the events happened to us. 

Everyday, everyone has the experience which is the indecision between on-stage and off-stage, the truth wasn't told and the off-stage was ignored. Whatever we pursue or operate for the benefit, or it's kind of self-defense which is base on distrust. These perform maintain the relationship of each other and keep the world going.   

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The original website

https://www.facebook.com/WonderoaBlogForWonder/posts/399403686826726